Where Morning Dawns and Evening Fades

My heart swells with joy when I see my husband is posting sunrise pictures on Facebook while he is supposed to be at work.  I hope he doesn’t mind that I borrowed his picture for my blog post today.

psalm 658One masterpiece fades softly into the background as another flows quietly and seamlessly forward erasing the darkness as bright colors begin spilling over the sky turning what was once a star covered canvas into a fiery sky of oranges and golds, beauty so captivating I have to stop and just watch in awe. Where morning dawns and evening fades I enter the place where joy is made.

The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders;
    where morning dawns, where evening fades,
    you call forth songs of joy. Psalm 65:8

As you go through your day today slow down and pay attention to all the beautiful gifts God surrounds you with.  I think you will be amazed.

Have a wonderful day,

T

31days

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The Amazing Journey to Peace

romans 15 13I went for my recheck on the macular hole today.  The hole is healed and no surgery is needed at all.  I am amazed and so thankful!

I am not sure why God chose to give me this miracle, it’s not my first actually its one of many. Was this all to show me what he can do? Or was it just a normal thing planned from the beginning?

Worry… Worry is a word I used to know really well. All this eye stuff has taught me worry is a waste of time.  There is no need to worry. What will or will not happen, will happen, whether I worry or not.  So why not just believe that God has it covered and be thankful for all he has done..  That is what I hope to remember to do from now on.

This almost 4 years of eye stuff has been quit an amazing a journey for me.  Is it finally finished? ….Well… the macular hole is healed in my left eye yet I have some odd side affect is going on in my right eye now do to the Lucentis shot I had 3 years ago coupled with my arthritis.  She said that it is causing me to have a red eyes sometimes that look as if I have broken blood vessels in my eye.  I have to take a steroid drop for that now that may or may not cause glaucoma or cataracts. Am I worried?? NO.  A few years ago when a doctor gave me medicine I would skip it for fear of the side affects. To me it is the strangest thing if I think about it really hard….  Me at peace about stuff that used to scare me to death….

I think as long as I am on this earth there will always be something going on. If not eyes it would be something else.  All I know is we can chose to wallow in the problems or chose to rest in the peace of God.  I think I will chose to rest in the peace.

God is really good.  He took me the most messed up fraidy cat person and somehow managed to change that.  It is really nice to have this peace.

Have a blessed evening,

T

31days

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Rainy Days

Once again I awaken to the sound of raindrops on the roof…

Another rainy day…

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Though I love a sunny day there is something peaceful about a rainy day.

Rainy days make me feel all warm and cozy inside.

I love the sound the rain makes as it hits the roof and then as it pours into the gutters eventually finding its way to the ground.

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I love looking out the window and watching as the world around me becomes saturated eventually the ground becomes soaked so deep that the raindrops have nowhere else to go except to form small rivers running across the grass.

20141013_123026I love how some of the drops stick to the pine tree needles looking like slivers of ice.

20141013_122439I love how it also seems to pick the fall colored leaves right off of the trees.  Some are so heavy with moisture they stick to the ground while others drop on top of the streams of water to float softly away, like my thoughts today.

20141013_123135As I write this thunder rumbles softly in the distance and I feel like it is God saying “take notice of this gift.”

Thankfulness and contentment are my thoughts today.

Thank you God for rainy days.

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For the rest of the posts in this series click here

31days

#write31days

All is Good

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This morning I awoke, to my husband waking me up to give me good-bye kiss before he left for work. After he left I then lay there thinking about how thankful I am for him and for our life together.  I thought about how things could have turned out had God not came into our lives.  As lay there thinking happy thoughts, rain started tapping on the roof and I  drifted back off to sleep. I slept for about another hour and woke up to sunshine streaming through the curtains realizing that what I thought was going to be a rainy day now was a sunny day. I looked outside and saw this beautiful mess on my deck and a feeling of contentment and peace washed over me.

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Not to long after I woke up I received an email from a friend that contained a blog post by Randy Alcorn called turning Bad into Best. In the post it said ‘take some time to list the worst things that have ever happened to you, then list the best things. You’ll be astonished by how many of those best things came out of the worst things’

I decided to make a list and I soon found out that what the writer said was true; most of the best things on my list did come out of the worst things.  I won’t put the lists I made on here but I will share with you that there was one thing that stood out on the top of both lists…The best thing that ever happened to me in my life was that I was saved by Jesus and guess what….it was during one of the worst points of my life.

I have been walking with Jesus for about 4 and half years now.  It has been a tremendous time of change and to be honest it has has been one tough time.  Life did not become awesome the minute I was saved, actually it became more complicated.  I also have had a whole lot of health problems over the past 4 years but oddly through each one something good came from it. At times it seemed like life was  crumbling around me but  now I look back and can see that God was molding me and helping me get my priorities in line.  Now things seem to be solid and strong and it seems to me as if I have pretty much walked into a whole new life, actually a better life.

Reflecting back over the list I made today it looks as if I lost a lot but what amazes me is how much more I have gained. I now have more than I ever hoped for, and more than I ever could imagine.  What I have now is love, faith, trust, hope, peace, security, and joy. Joy, I have joy 🙂  I am thankful.

I started my day today feeling peace and contentment, I shall end it on the same note.

Thank you so much for reading, below are a few of the gifts God gave me as I went through my day today and I would like to share them with you.

Enjoy…

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God bless you and good night,

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31days

To read the rest of the posts in this series you can click here – 31 Days of Hushin’ My Mouth

 

Reflecting on What I Left Behind

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copyright © astorybyme 2014

Today as I was driving to work the sun had just risen and I was driving directly into it.  It was so bright that the light stung my eyes so bad that I could barely open them to drive and I was relieved to turn into the parking lot because the driveway goes in the totally opposite direction than the one I had been traveling.  With the sun behind me now and heading for my parking spot I happened to catch a glimpse of the sun in my rear view mirror, it was breathtakingly beautiful!  So beautiful that I decided I just had to stop and take a picture of it’s reflection in the mirror.  As I was taking the picture I realized that the sun that had been blinding me a minute ago didn’t hurt my eyes at all when it was a reflection in the mirror behind me.

After I parked my car as I was walking into the church I saw that the sun was once again in front of me but this time it was a little higher in the sky and though shining brightly over the church it wasn’t painful to look towards it anymore.  As I was unlocking the door to the building all the sudden I just felt so overwhelmed by thankfulness that I was blinded by tears (happy tears) as I thought to myself, “if someone would have told me I would be in this place in my life one day, I would have never have believed them.

I went in the building and soon got to work but while I was working this morning I kept thinking about my past and where I am now and realized that my life is kinda the same as the sun reflecting back in the mirror… what is behind me today at one time used to be in front of me.

Sometimes our lives can be really painful and we have no way of getting around it so we have to head straight into it in order to get through it.  Today when I reflect back on my past I find that where I have been in my past though sometimes painful it was exactly where I needed to go in order to get to where I am today.

When I am driving in my car and I look in the rear-view mirror I see a reflection of where I have been and I know I could never have gotten to where I am on this road without having ever traveled the road behind me.  I also know if I were to turn around I wouldn’t ever get to where I am going.

It is the same way with our lives. Sometimes I may get a glimpse of where I’ve been or who I used to be, but now when I look back I can see that it is all a part of what has put me where I am today and it has made me who I am today.  My past is NOT who I am anymore but I had to have traveled that road in my past in order to get to where I am now and also to get to where I am going.

I have had people to tell me I should always keep moving forward and never look back. Though I do always try keep moving forward, today I did look back because I think for me sometimes I need to look back.  I think it is okay to look back and reflect on the old me from time to time because it shows me just how far I have come.

Today when I saw the sun rising behind me in my mirror it reminded me that when I look back on my past, the ‘SON’ (Jesus) was there with me rising up above it all the whole time.

Thanks for reading,

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Eye Update!

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Since my last post “Leaving Panic Behind Under Palapa #39” I have received many encouraging email messages and also comments on my blog.  I am just so humbled and amazed at the outpouring of love and prayers that have surrounded me in the past few days, from not only friends and family here beside me, but also from people who I have never met in person. The love I have felt touches me so deep inside that I feel my heart just may burst and I want to say thank you to each and every one of you  ❤

I went to the Retina specialist Wednesday and the news was that I have a stage 1 macular hole caused by the vitreous gel in my eye pulling on my retina. My doctor has ordered a drug called Jetrea that will be injected in my eye to hopefully dissolve the vitreous gel so that it will quit pulling on my retina. The Jetrea has a 50 percent chance of working. If it does not work then I will have to have eye surgery to remove the vitreous gel. I may have to surgery to fix the macular hole also depending on how it looks once the gel is not pulling on it anymore. For now I am supposed to be watching for anything new that happens in my eye such as floaters or new flashes of light because while the gel pulling on my retina it can make the hole bigger or possibly cause my retina to detach.

I wrote the above 2 nights ago night but did not get a chance to publish it and this is what happened since I wrote that……

When I got up yesterday morning my eye was very light sensitive and blurry.  I went to work where I spent most my morning on the computer. Some time during the late morning I realized that did not seem to be having as much trouble seeing and thought I was just getting used to my eye issue.  When I finished at work as I was going to town and I noticed once again that I seemed to be seeing much better but I still thought it was because I was just getting used to it.

As exited the interstate I realized that the flashes of light that I have seen for almost a year were gone! I also noticed that feeling of looking through cellophane in my eye was gone too!  I sat in a parking lot for 15 minutes moving my eyes all different directions to see if I could see the flash or the cellophane and no matter how I moved them I was right it had stopped! Those flashes in my sight have been very obvious every time I would move my eyes or blink but now they were gone. The feeling of seeing through cellophane started when the hole appeared but it was gone gone gone too! The only thing that I seem to have wrong is a small dot of vision right in the center of my eye is missing. 2 days ago the whole center of every word was blocked but now it is only a small dot on the center letter of each word and it is not very noticeable at all with both of my eyes open.  I am pretty sure that the dot of missing space is the macular hole but I truly think the vitreous gel has finally pulled off.

I called my retina doctor with this news and she did not seem to be impressed or believe me and she said she will see me in 2 weeks unless I have new flashes or floaters.  I am not a doctor but I really do think the gel pulled off and if that is what happened I will not have to have the Jetrea injection to make it dissolve. I noticed today that I am seeing much better than I have in over a year!

Anyway… that is the news I have so far and I hope I am right.  If I am not right at least something has happened that my vision seems to be improved, so either way the prayers are working and if my eye is really healing (and I am sure it is) this will be the 3rd miracle that God has given me on my eyes, you would think that by now when I tell my doctor I think I am better she would believe me 😀 I will let you know in 2 weeks what she says, Maybe the hole will heal too 😀

I also want to say something about prayer….When this first happened while I was laying there on that beach praying God immediately wrapped his arms around me and gave me such peace that I can never begin to explain it here.  That peace he gave me has held strong through it all and is still here.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

I have no idea how many people have been praying for me I put a post on Facebook and have told everyone I know.  I used to be so uncomfortable to ask people to pray for me, but I have realized now how can can people know to pray for us if we do not ask? I could feel those prayers so much and I know that every  single one of those prayers were heard by God. He is answering them not only in the healing I have seen but I truly think it has even more to do with how much confidence I feel in him no matter what the outcome turns out to be.   Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 

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this photo is not mine and it came from Christine Cain’s facebook post.

Thank you for reading and once again for your prayers,

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Related posts:

I Was Blind But Now I See

I Wait

My Good News

What’s The Plan?

Spider Webs

Broken Glass

My Miracle

Lightening Flashes

Through the Fog and the Debris

Eye Issues Today

I Still See

Leaving Panic Behind Under Palapa #39

A God Inspired Decision

 

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Walkiris – Dominican Republic

It’s been over two weeks since I was given this Compassion Blogger assignment and I am not sure why but of all the Compassion blogging assignments I have received this one for some reason gave me writers block. I know that’s sounds silly because if you are a friend of mine you know that the children of Compassion are where my passion is and I usually cannot stop talking about those kids.

So why then would this assignment be so hard for me?

The assignment this month was to write about what it was that inspired me to sponsor a child. I do know the answer to this question and my answer to the question is – My decision to sponsor a child was God inspired.

I know that sounds like a simple answer and I guess I could have just left it at that and been finished with my writing assignment way before now but there was just so much more to say and I had a hard time putting it all into words. So tonight I decided to just start writing in the hopes that it puts into perspective all the things floating around in my head.

I will start with the first time I was asked to sponsor a child…It was 2010 and I was a brand new Christian. My friend David asked me to sponsor a child and I told him no.  I knew nothing about Compassion except for a few status’s that he had put on his Facebook page and what he had told me about his own sponsorship’s. I really did think I meant no at that time but gradually I found myself becoming very intrigued by Compassion’s website. What I did not know at that time was that God had used my friend to plant a seed for those children in my heart.  I soon began visiting Compassion’s website almost every evening and while I was there I found myself reading about poverty and looking at pictures of the children who were waiting for sponsors. On May 3, 2010 as I was looking at the pictures of the children a cute little face with a big giant smile jumped out of the page at me.  The more I looked at the little girl’s picture the more the pull to sponsor her became stronger.  Even though I still had reservations there was  no fighting it, I knew without a doubt that God wanted me to sponsor Walkiris from the Dominican Republic.

I didn’t know it at the time but that day 4 years ago was the beginning of something that has now become a very important part of my life!

Choosing to sponsor Walkiris was a God inspired decision for sure and the thing about something that is God inspired is it usually turns out in the end way bigger than you could have ever imagined it could.

Some God inspired things seem to me to be way out of my comfort zone and sponsoring a child may sound easy to some people but for me it was way…WAY out of my comfort zone!  First off I was going to be making a commitment to a monthly payment I wasn’t sure I would always have the funds for. Sponsoring a child also meant taking a chance on something I knew nothing about. I did not know a whole lot about Compassion and back then I had big time trust issues. From where I stand now looking back to that time in my life, for me to sponsor a child back then was pretty huge!

At that time in my life Jesus was also very new to me and I had only been a Christian for about 2 months. I did not feel equipped to be writing about him in a letter to a child and to me the letter writing seemed like a big responsibility because I didn’t have a clue what I would say to a child that I didn’t know and to top that off she was from another country so our cultures were different and she spoke Spanish (thank you for Compassion translators).  I will be honest with you when I sponsored Walkiris though I said yes to God I was not totally sure if I was really all in on the whole sponsorship thing.

Thankfully it did work out and I soon found out, letter writing was easy, it was fun, the funds always seemed to be there and I also eventually realized I was really ALL in.

Since the day I sponsored Walkiris several other things have been God inspired.

God inspired sponsoring Thierry… 

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Thierry – Haiti (Thierry has now graduated from Compassion’s program)

God inspired me to become an advocate for other children who are waiting for sponsors…

God inspired me to start this blog… 

God inspired letter writing with Sanbor…

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Sanbor – Bangladash

God inspired a visit to Haiti to meet Thierry. (Read this story here)…

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Me and Thierry March 2013

While in Haiti meeting Theirry God inspired sponsoring Rose (Read her story here)…

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Rose – Haiti (in the mint green dress)

God inspired me to join Compassion bloggers and He inspires me to write about the kids at Compassion…

And just this past year God inspired sponsoring Ericka…

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Ericka – El Salvador

God has inspired writing letters full of words of encouragement and full of love…Tears of joy have sometimes flowed down my face when I read the letters from my children. I cry because I see the love in the pictures they draw for me…or the first time I saw Walkiris’s tiny blue finger print signature because she was to young to write. I loved watching as over time the finger print was replaced by her own crooked signature and then finally the joyful day that the letter arrived fully written by her in her very own handwriting.

I love how the letters from these kids give me a glimpse into their lives. The most profound thing I have learned through all of this is that I could fall in love with someone I have never met in person.  The love I feel for them is real and I feel like they are my own children.  I have also found out that these children love me as much as I love them.  Their letters to me are written with love and also full of encouragement for me.  Every single one of them has told me that they pray for me and my family. What I have received out of all this has been a totally unexpected gift.

What started out as me helping them I think somehow has also been them helping me?!?  

During the past 4 years God has taken this heart of mine and broken it into a million tiny pieces while at the same time he has been picking them up and putting them back together again, molding them into a heart that is full of trust, hope and love.  Those things all rolled together form a heart so full of  joy at times that it feels as if it may burst.  This whole ‘God inspired’ thing has blessed me beyond anything I could ever have imagined and I am thankful to be a part of something so life changing on all sides of the story.

When looking at Compassion’s website and seeing all those faces of children looking back it can be really hard to imagine that sponsoring just one child could make any difference at all, but I know now without a doubt that it really does make a difference. The truth is sponsoring a child not only makes a difference for that child’s life but also for his whole family and it can also change the sponsor’s life too.

Below is a video by Caitlin Jane.  She is a singer songwriter and also a Compassion sponsor. When she was visiting her sponsored child in The Dominican Republic she was inspired to write this song.

What is God inspiring you to do? If he is inspiring you to do something then go for it! I know you won’t regret your decision to do it if it’s God inspired.  If you would like to share what God is inspiring you to do please tell me about it in the comments below, I really would love to hear about it.

If you feel God is inspiring you to help make a difference in the life of a child consider leaving this blog post by way of clicking the link below which will take you to Compassion International’s website. While there you can view pictures of children who have been praying for someone to choose them and to be their sponsor. YOU can be that person…YOU can make a difference…YOU can change the world — one child at a time! http://www.compassion.com/sponsor_a_child/default.htm?referer=121431

Thank you for reading and have a blessed day,

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