I am Beautiful

A 31 Day Series on Hushin’ My Mouth:

     I am doing something new here on my blog this month.  For the month of October I have joined up with  The Nester and 1200 other writers for a 31 day online writing challenge.  The challenge is to write every day on the same topic. 

     My topic is “31 Days of Hushin’ My Mouth.”   For those of you who know me in person you know I have a bit of a problem doing that and I also have a bit of a hard time shutting off my mind at times too.  I signed up to do this challenge just last night so I am actually a day late in getting started.  I saw it a few days ago and I wanted to do it the minute I saw it but figured there was no way I would be able to think of a thing to write about  but then last night I went to the website again and the next thing I knew I had signed up. I then played around on picmonkey.com and made the required button for the link up (though I did not know it yet).  While I was looking through the different pictures I saw these cute little lipstick prints and I put a set  on my button for a minute and then the words 31 Days of Hushin’ My Mouth popped in my head so I typed it on.  Don’t even ask me why I saved the button because at the time I really had no intention of ever using that button or topic but then this morning something happened…which will be my first post which you will read about below. 

     Since I have written this post and now have hit the publish button I guess I am all in. Maybe by the end of the series I will be better at hushin’ up so that I can be better at hearing what God is trying to tell me…anyway now today I am all excited about this  Are you excited?! If your not feeling that the excitement at this announcement then come back next month when its all over and done or if you would like to join us and take the challenge yourself  you can click here.and sign up.

Without further ado…


Day 1: I am Beautiful

This morning I was sitting in front of the mirror blow-drying my hair when I happened to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror (it is a full length mirror).  Every single morning I sit in front of this mirror fixing my hair and makeup never really looking at myself to closely but today I did.  Today I decided I looked fat.  I really am bigger lady and most of the time I am okay with that.   Lately because of health reasons I have been taking better care of myself and I am actually smaller than I was a few months ago so you think I would have noticed that but no not today. Today I felt disgusted by what I saw in the mirror.

So there was sitting there looking at myself, feeling fat and the next thing that happened is right there before my eyes wrinkles appeared on my face that I never noticed before, followed by age spots, a nice red pimple on my cheek, and before I knew it I started thinking of things I forgot to do yesterday, and within a matter of minutes I was not only fat but I was ugly, incompetent and sure enough the next thing I knew my past started knocking on my door….

Did I see that coming? No I did not.

I spent a lot of years with not a lot of self confidence caused by things in my past.  Over the last few years I have started opening up and facing my past and realizing that I really do like me now.

So there I was this morning looking in the mirror and then all the sudden I didn’t like me.

After a good cry I finished getting ready and headed out the door to work. I started my car and Mike Weaver from the band Big Daddy Weave was speaking on the radio.  He just so happened to be giving a testimony about how he had been on a diet and lost 90 pounds.  He went on to say how his weight loss attracted a lot of attention and people from all over gave him praise for a job well done.  He said he only had a few pounds left to lose to get to his goal but he did not lose it… Soon after he did not reach his goal he began feeling like a failure and soon he gained all the weight back.  He fell into a pit of sadness and one day he ended up  on his garage floor in a heart wrenching cry out to God in which God spoke back to him telling him that He created him and that He loved him and that he was beautiful.  From this talk with God he wrote the words to the song Redeemed.

They then they played the song…..

So there I was driving down the road this morning (For some reason I seem to have a mirror/car theme going this week,(see previous post))…..  with this testimony and now the song playing, the sky was beautiful blue and the sun was shining so brightly over the country side. It was a perfectly beautiful morning created by God and I felt like He made it just for me today.

Though the words of the song were playing in the background God’s voice was speaking to me loudly.

He said,

Hush child,”

So I hushed

And then I heard his words speaking to me….

“You are worth so much more than that”…. “You are beautiful you are wonderfully made”… “you were created by me.”  

“You do not honor me by cutting yourself down”…”Look at yourself; you have a beautiful smile and a beautiful heart. You give others compassion and love but you do not give the same to yourself.”

“Lift up your head and put on that smile that I gave you and cherish you like I cherish you.  Don’t say your not pretty, don’t think your not good enough or smart enough or not worthy enough!  I made you!”

“Look at the beauty surrounding you this morning, I created it and guess what?  The same hands that created that are the same hands that created YOU.” 

So that’s it, that is what I heard when I Hushed my mouth today, I can’t wait for tomorrow 🙂

Thank you so much for reading my post today. I have one more thought before I go….Did it ever occur to you that God created YOU too?



All posts in this series can be found here ->31 day writing challenge


I am Loved

In a world that feels so uncertain I stumble along each day,

taking one step at a time feeling blind at times, gingerly feeling my way as I go.

Not sure of where I am going I travel along on this path that’s unseen.

Wandering and searching for meaning and purpose wondering what does this all mean.

Just as I am about to give up,

out of nowhere you appear beside me, slipping your hand in mine.

I feel your strength take the place of my weakness,

steadying me as you guide me to the place where my heart knows that it’s safe.

You’re my hope when all hope feels hopeless.

You’re the worth when I feel unworthy.

You’re the love when I feel unloved.

At times I feel unworthy of your love,

but you give it to me anyway.

You cover all the hurts I hold inside.

Your take away my feelings of doubt.

If only I would not take what others say or do to me to my heart,

but instead took only You to my heart.

You’re the only one I need to believe,

Your voice says, I am beautiful, I am worthy, I am special and I am loved

You’re all that I ever truly need.

Thank you Father for loving me.

Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Psalm 25:5

The Garden of My Heart

20140511_171111I read a devotional every day by Sarah Young called Jesus Calling.  Today’s reading was a WOW moment for me when I read these words… “I want you to walk with Me in the garden of your heart, where I have taken up permanent residence.”  Four years ago I asked Jesus to come into my life and be my savior, and that is exactly what He did, He took up permanent residence in my heart 🙂  Every since that day my life has been a totally new walk, with something new blooming every day and my life is much more meaningful and beautiful.  What I love the most about all this is I no longer walk alone, Jesus walks with me now….He walks with me in the garden of my heart



Letters To my Sponsor

5 Years ago….

Dear Sponsor, 

I wake to my stomach rumbling and calling out the need for food. As I begin to open my eyes I see the sun streaming in the crack of the tarp that hangs over my bed of earth, I am cold.  I can hear my mother outside moving around as she warms a tea over the fire for our breakfast.  She calls my name and I go outside our home made of blue tarp to greet her.  She smiles at me but her eyes seem so very tired.  My brother, sister, mother and I gather around the fire letting it take the chill off our bodies as we reach for each others hands to pray.  We bow our heads and thank God for this lovely day and the warm tea we have for breakfast.  We also thank Him because yesterday we found out I now have you, my sponsor, who I have been praying for you for a very long time.  I am not sure yet what this will mean for me yet but I feel very blessed. I am 10 years old…..


Today, I am 15 years old…..

Dear Sponsor,

I wake to the sound of my mother calling my name and I open my eyes to see the sun streaming through the crack of the wood of our small home of wood.  We no longer live under a blue tarp.  I notice the sun is shining on the picture I have hanging on the wall.  The picture is of you, my sponsor.  It has been 5 years since God gave you to me and I thank Him for you as I get up smiling. My life has changed so much since I found you. I go to my mother who greets me with a smile, the tiredness in her eyes is still there but the sadness in her eyes seems to have turned into hopefulness and joy now.  My brother, sister, mother and I hold hands as we pray thanks to God for the many blessings he has given us.  All of us children have sponsors now and our lives are so very different than they were 5 years ago.

Since being sponsored, I no longer wake up hungry,  I have clean water to drink and I am no longer sick all the time.  I get to attend school and oh how I love going to school!  I have learned to read and write and I also get to hang out with my friends while I am there. They tell me about Jesus at school and how He loves us all so very much.  We sing songs to him and dance and laugh there. It’s such a fun place to be.

Over the past 5 years you have written me letters and I have saved them all.  I used to think I was ugly and worth nothing but now I know I am beautiful and worth so very much. You have told me how much you love me and most of all you tell me about Jesus and how much He loves me. I also know I can do anything I want to do in life now. I do not have to live in despair or feel unworthy anymore.  I know that all things are possible through Jesus who gives me strength.  My life has been changed forever.  Thank you so very much for being my sponsor, I love you. 

God bless you,

Your sponsored child


As you know by now September is blog month at Compassion.  The assignment today was to write a letter as if I were a sponsored child to my sponsor. It was very hard to write it because I have never lived how my sponsored children have lived so I do not truly know how life is from their perspective.  I took things that my children have written in letters to me or I have learned from the Compassion website.  One thing I notice in the letters they write me is they always tell me they are praying for me and how God has blessed them, which is something I never expected when I started this journey with them.  I know in the beginning with my first sponsorship I hoped to help a child in need.  I did not know at that time how very much it would also change my life.  I can never begin explain the unexpected blessings I have received from the letters I receive from them.

Sponsoring a child has also has opened my eyes to so much I never ever even knew existed.  Some of these children feel unloved, forgotten and feel like there is not any hope.  Many are not only hungry for food but are also spiritually hungry.  Many are faced with child labor, HIV/AIDS, violence abuse and sex trafficking, many can not read or write. They need someone who will tell them there is hope, that they are loved and that they are worthy. They need someone to tell them about Jesus.   That someone could be YOU.

Isaiah 1:17 Learn to do right; seek justice.  Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.

For more information or to sponsor a child go to www.Compassion.com

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Who’s Scribbling?

I don’t remember a whole lot about my life before the age of 5 other than I always loved to dance and sing but most of all I loved to draw pictures and color them.

When I was 5 years old as most children in my country do, I headed off to my first day of kindergarten.   I was so excited to be going to school.  I was not a baby anymore and was headed off where the big kids got to go spend their days.  I could not wait to play with the other kids and make whole a bunch of friends.

When my mother took me to my classroom I saw some of the other kids were crying and clinging to their moms but I was not scared at all, I was so happy to be there.  The classroom was full of tables and we each already had a place picked out just for us.  I found my name tag taped to the table marking my seat and I sat down.  It was going to be the best day ever!

Shortly after our mothers left the teacher gave us work to do.  We were to draw a picture of what we did over the summer.  I loved to color so this made me very happy.   I had my brand new cardboard school box filled with crayons, pencils and paste and I could not wait to use them!

I began coloring my masterpiece,  I felt so happy but then something awful happened.   I heard a little girl at our table whisper to the boy sitting next to her; she said “who is scribbling?”  I looked around the table to try to figure out who she was talking about.  “Where was this scribbling person at our table?” I thought to myself.   I did not see anyone scribbling.  Then I saw that same girl who had whispered to the boy and she was pointing at me!   As she pointed she said “It’s her,” with a look of disapproval on her face.

I began looking around the table at the other children, all eyes were on me. I remember the boy next to me scooted his chair away from me making sure the others did not think he was the “scribbler’s” friend.   I looked down at my picture which I had thought was beautiful a few minutes ago.  I also looked around at everyone else’s pictures.  Though I was just a little girl I still can remember the feelings I had inside.  I was so embarrassed as I felt the tears begin running down my face.  I wanted to run and hide but I was stuck there in that classroom at that table in an unfamiliar place and my mother who I always ran to, was not here to protect me.

I think that was the first time in my life I wanted to please other people who were not behaving very nicely.  I was only in kindergarten but in my child mind, I wanted them to think my picture was pretty and I wanted those kids to like me.  I remember looking at my picture wanting to hide it because they made me feel like it was ugly.  I wanted run away go back to my home where my mommy was where everything I did was beautiful and everyone liked me.

I wish I could say that I continued “scribbling” my picture and being myself not caring what the other kids thought, but I did not.  It was actually the beginning of a life of trying to please others.  I was just coloring a picture and some little girl pointed out I was not doing things like everyone else.  It can be really hard the first time you realize you are not like everyone else, even if you are only 5.

I still sometimes as an adult wonder where do those feelings come from?   Why do I have the need to feel that I have to please others .  I think its because we all need approval and we just want others to like us. We don’t want them to think we are odd or different or not smart.  I was reading my Bible the other day and I came across the story of Peter denying Jesus. The night before Jesus was crucified his faithful disciple Peter denied him.  Jesus even warned him he would do it and I do think Peter truly believed he would not do that sort of thing to his friend.

He warns Peter in Mark 14:27-31

  •  “You will all fall away,” Jesus told them, “for it is written: ‘I will strike the shepherd,and the sheep will be scattered.’  But after I have risen, I will go ahead of you into Galilee.”  Peter declared, “Even if all fall away, I will not.”  “Truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “today—yes, tonight—before the rooster crows twice you yourself will disown me three times.” But Peter insisted emphatically, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” And all the others said the same.

As you read on farther in Mark we can see it is true Peter did deny Jesus, as shown in 14:66-77

  • While Peter was below in the courtyard, one of the servant girls of the high priest came by.  When she saw Peter warming himself, she looked closely at him.  “You also were with that Nazarene, Jesus,” she said.  But he denied it. “I don’t know or understand what you’re talking about,” he said, and went out into the entryway.  When the servant girl saw him there, she said again to those standing around, “This fellow is one of them.” Again he denied it.  After a little while, those standing near said to Peter, “Surely you are one of them, for you are a Galilean.”  He began to call down curses, and he swore to them, “I don’t know this man you’re talking about.”  Immediately the rooster crowed the second time. Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken to him: “Before the rooster crows twice you will disown me three times.” And he broke down and wept

I think that Peter feared for his life here and became afraid. I also think in our own lives we have a lot of reasons for wanting to please other people.  Fear can be a huge reason we try to please others.  We can fear harm to ourselves or just fear of being alone.

I feared others not liking me I also feared being picked on.  But the bottom line is we as people just really do not like it when we feel not liked or unloved.  No matter what the reason it can be scary.

I do believe we were made to please.  But I do not believe it was people we were made to please.  We were made to please one thing and one thing only and that is God.  What God thinks of us is all that ever has and ever will truly matter.

Don’t take me wrong when I say that.  This does not give us permission to go around acting like a jerk.  We should truly care about others and love one another and doing acts of kindness are wonderful.   We all should be nice to one another.  But we should never be who we are not meant to be to please another person.

Being a Christian can be hard sometimes because we have to go out of the box.  We have to say and do things that non believers may think are just plain nuts.  Sometimes even the believers may think we are nuts.   Our friends and family may think we are nuts too and guess what?? They may even not like us.  But if we stay pleasing to God we are on the right path.

Thankfully a lot of things have changed since that day in kindergarten.   We start learning our lessons in life as a young child and sometimes the lessons learned are not the right ones to learn.  Until I sat in that kindergarten classroom it never dawned on my child mind that someone would not like me because I was me. Thankfully now I do know who I need to please.  Something else I noticed along the way is if I just be who God made me to be, most people like me anyway, and if they don’t that’s ok . I also have realized that when I am not trying to please anyone except for God I actually like me too:)

Don’t worry what others think of you and go be who God made you to be.

Gelatians 1:10  Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people?If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. 

Colossians 3:23    Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters

Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Thank you for reading and God bless you 🙂

Dear Lord,

Dear Lord,

Please help the children; I do not know why they suffer so.  You have broken my heart for them Lord, you have broken it to the point that no matter how many children I sponsor or how much I pray I still find my heart breaking for the ones who are left, the ones still without sponsors.  I feel so helpless as to what else I can do for them.










So today I offer you my prayer ….

Please hear me Lord as I pray for the children…those little precious children the ones who feel no hope, the ones who feel no future, the ones who do not feel loved.

I pray to you today with my whole heart that Magdaline will find someone who will tell her about your awesomeness


I pray today Zephania will know someone cares about him.


I pray that Byron who has been waiting 314 days will know that he is loved.


I pray that one day Anusya will no longer feel suffering at the hands of the world she lives in, but instead she will have a loving sponsor to tell her who’s hands she is truly in.


I pray Kranarong will find a sponsor who will tell him about Your hands.


I pray Geordanys will find someone to tell him how your loving hands will pick him up when he needs lifted.  Hold him when he needs held and give him the strength he needs to carry on.


I pray Dear Lord that each child will always know that no matter how lonely they may feel or what kind of situation they may face that you are ALWAYS there with them.

I pray that they feel Your joy forever and know that there is always hope

Last but not least Lord I pray that you will stir the hearts of those who have much love to share that they will share that love with a precious child who needs to know they are worth something. I pray you will break their heart as you did mine.  I pray that they can become a loving sponsor to a child who needs them.   A sponsor who tells them about the most important thing there is to know and that is that Jesus loves them.

Thank you for hearing my prayer today my Dear Lord,

In Jesus precious name I pray to you today,


You can make a difference, one child at a time. Do you hear God calling you to make a difference today? You can answer that call by clicking this picture. Be a blessing and you will be blessed!


Friendships Made In Heaven

This blog is from my friend Anne at http://www.freedomborn.wordpress.com/ We always have a friend in Jesus.  He sends us friends to help us on our Journey through this life.  I am so very glad he sent me all the wonderful friends I have but most of all I am so thankful Jesus is my friend. Thank you Anne for posting this for me.


 You Are Special In Someone’s Life!
  Friends are those ones we turn to when our spirits need a lift and they know we are there for them too and will see them through… 
Friendship is a gift we Treasure encouraging and uplifting each other through the
 good and bad… 

A True Friend is someone who fills our lives with Beauty, Joy and Grace because we let them have first place…
 And this makes the world we live in better and
happier because it’s all about God’s Grace
which can’t be misplaced… 
 This  Miracle called Friendship, that dwells within our heart we need to know how it happens and how it gets its start and then we can know for sure it will continue on…   

 And become a beautiful song, for when we seek Love with our all no matter how big we are or how small,we will know the special…

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