This past week I have been looking through my journal, reflecting on life and realizing what a blessing it is. As I read through I am amazed at all the changes that have taken place, especially those that have happened in the past four years. Four years ago though I thought I was happy I really was not as happy as I fooled myself into thinking I was. I know now that I was missing some one in my life and that some one was Jesus. What I also did not know at that time was is that in just two short months my life was going to be rocked and that I was going to be starting a new walk in life. One that would take me through many hills, valleys and loads of mountain tops. If someone would have came to me at that point in my life four years ago and told me all the things that have happened since then and that are still going on right now I would have never ever believed them. As journey through my journal this week I can see just what an amazing transformation and journey it has been. I can’t wait to find out what else God has in store. Today I am thankful.
Remember when I used to cry myself to sleep at night?
Remember when I was always running away but not knowing what I was running away from?
Remember when I used to search for happiness but never could quite seem to grasp it.
Remember when I searched and searched but never knew what it was that I was searching for?
Remember when I didn’t how to love myself or how to accept love that was given to me?
Remember when restlessness and panic were my normal way of life?
Remember when loneliness and sadness lingered within me?
Remember when I was angry and exhausted?
Remember when I just wanted to give up?
Where were you?
Where were you when I was falling apart?
Where were you when I was scared and alone?
Where were you when I needed a friend?
Where were you when I was crying?
Where were you then?
You were right here.
You were always here.
You were here but I couldn’t see you because my eyes were closed.
You were here calling to me, but I covered my ears because I didn’t want to hear.
You were here trying to be my friend, but my heart was to cold to let you in.
I pushed you aside and stumbled around on my own for such a long time.
I was falling farther and farther, feeling lost and alone, thinking nobody cared,
but you were still here,
Though you allowed me go my own way,
You were still here reaching out your hand, always ready to help me should I decide I wanted to stand.
You were here through it all.
Always right here…
waiting for me.
Remember when I took that first step toward you? It was so hard for me to trust.
Remember when I thought I wasn’t good enough because I was such a broken mess?
Remember when you took my hand in yours and told me you loved me anyway?
Despite all my anger, disbelief and rejection of you, you still welcomed me with open arms. Loving me for who I was, forgiving all that I had done.
Remember when you showed me that what I had been longing and searching for was always right here waiting for me?
Remember when you picked me up and started putting the pieces back together again?
Remember when you breathed love, hope and joy back into my life?
Remember when you never gave up on me?
Dear Jesus, Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for giving your life to save my life.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
Dear Readers. Today I would like to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving! Even if you live in a country where Thanksgiving is not a holiday, Thanksgiving can always be celebrated. So today take some time to take note of your blessings and give thanks to the Lord.